Last week went by quickly. The work week was shortened to four days due to Saudi National Day. In addition, mid-quarter progress reports were due, Laura coached a volleyball match, and I chaperoned my first High School dance.
Don’t worry, though things were busy, Jack didn’t miss an opportunity to mark his territory in the new house. To give him credit, when it comes to urinating in the corners of every carpeted room, he has the focus and determination of a champion . . . of pissing contests. (instantrimshot.com)
The scenario usually plays out like this:
1. Jack needs a new diaper.
2. He lies calmly until you reach for the wipes then he head fakes right, rolls left and makes a run for the nearest corner.
3. At that point he assumes a sumo stance: feet shoulder width apart, legs bent, arms at 90 degree angles, hands on knees.
4. He locks eyes with you, cackles maniacally and starts whizzing.
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| Picture an 18 month old in this position 1/20th of this man's size. |
We bought him a tiny toilet. He’ll sit on it, but he prefers to wear it on his head like a storm trooper. Today, he started peeing in the hall, so I picked him up and tried to run him to his toilet. Not a great plan, but the pee-pee trail dried before Laura got home-straight evaporation homey.
I feel sorry for the next family that lives here. If they have a baby boy, he’s going to have to work hard to establish his alpha baby dominance in this house. Jack is thorough. The next kid better stay hydrated.
(Note to neighbors: feel free to keep your shoes on when you come over for game nights)
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