The boring post where I talk about getting a driver's license.

warning: pictures
of Jack makes posts
appear more interesting
than they actually are.

In other news of the week, I made a trip to the bank, doctor and Internet provider. Life is easy here- we are well compensated and are surrounded by great people.  So when I tell you how tedious it is to get things done-it isn’t that I’m angry or ungrateful, I’m just fascinated/mystified/confused by how many steps everything takes. 

For example, to get my driver’s license.  I first had to apply for an Iqama, (Saudi residency card).  This process typically takes 4-6 weeks depending on the government’s hours during Ramadan.

After I received my Iqama, I had my Minnesota Driver’s license translated to Arabic.  When that was done, I took a cab with another new teacher to a hospital for a vision screening and blood type analysis.

At the hospital, we had to fill out a form to set up a file at front desk.  You fill out the form and pay 40 riyals (10 dollars).  After that-they suggested we each make an appointment to see the optometrist and another for a general consultation and come back the next day.  Fortunately, we had spoken to an experienced teacher who told us that we could just go directly upstairs and try to squeeze in between appointments. 

So we went up paid another 40 riyals, and both got our vision tests done with relative ease.  I asked the nurse if the letters on the eye chart were in Arabic, she smiled and just gave me “the look”*. 

Then we went to another part of the hospital, paid 40 riyals and each had our height, weight and blood pressure taken.  We met with a doctor who asked us questions about our medical history.

The doctor then sent us to the insurance office to see how much it would cost and then we were sent to the lab.  We paid 70 riyals, our blood was taken and we were told to come back the next day for the results.  I protested and told the phlebotomist that finding your blood type takes less than ten minutes and she smiled and also gave me “the look”*.

We spent about 3 hours at the hospital, however the next day we simply went in, picked up our paperwork and went home.  By the way my blood type/new life motto is B positive.

But here’s the kicker, before I went back to the hospital on the second day to pick up my paperwork, I went to the bank to open an account.  The account manager informed me that I couldn’t open an account because my Iqama was faulty.  Evidently my middle name was not translated to Arabic on the card.  I asked him if he could ignore it and simply enter my middle name in Arabic on the computer when setting up the account.  He smiled and gave me “the look”*. 

So since my Iqama is a dud, I probably have to start the driver’s license process from the beginning. 

So long story short-DMV's are a hassle and you wait a long time at hospitals. Who knew?!?

Again, this is not a big deal.  We have a bus that takes us back and forth to school, another bus that will bring you to local shopping malls, and we are a five-minute walk from a grocery store.  I’ve also got to meet a lot of interesting people and gained a little more experience in navigating Saudi culture. 

Besides, by not driving now, I'm probably adding years to my life expectancy.  It may be a crime to NOT text while driving here.  Hey Dude in the 2011 Bentley-I’m psyched you’ve got the new I phone, can you change your status on Facebook to “Driving with my knees while drifting into oncoming traffic!  LOL, OMG, ROTFL.” 

*Webster’s dictionary defines “the look” as a visual cue given to a Westerner who has been in Saudi for a short amount of time and is being a dipshit. 

For example, when the cab driver observed that the blonde Westerner had chosen to duct taped his cell phone’s password and number to the back of the phone itself, the cab driver smiled, gave him “the look”.